International Baptist Church Berlin connecting people to Jesus, one another, and God's world
I. B. C. Berlin
Rothenburgstr. 13
12165 Berlin

Tel. (Pastor's Study)
+49 (0)30 7621 8155
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Worship Services:
Sundays, 12:15
Sermons
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Date: 2008-07-06
Speaker: Jakob Magiera
Title: Christian conflict resolution
About two months ago, I was asked to speak today, so I've had some time to think about what I am going to say. So I thought and prayed and decided to pick up my bible and go back to a passage that has had a big impact on me and has also been a cause for some struggles in my understanding of Christianity. This passage is found in Romans and is often referred to as the „Roman Road“. As I went through it, my study bible mentioned that this is the first account of a Christian systematic theology. When I read that, I thought „that's interesting!“
So, today, I am going to speak about systematic theology.
Are you taking me serious? Of course I am not going to speak about systematic theology. Neither am I qualified to do so, nor do I believe that this is what you need to hear today. Instead, let me tell you how God spoke to me as I was wondering about what I could share with you. I actually did go through the „Roman Road“ and found some interesting thoughts, but not enough for a sermon. So after that fruitless endeavor, I started praying to God to give me a topic.
A couple of weeks ago I went on a 4-day trip to the small town Southwest of Berlin together with my wife and children and my parents. We resided on a farm turned into a holiday home. We had a great time there, especially the kids. We stayed from Wednesday to Sunday. Everything went well, until Friday evening. I will go into details later, but suffice it to say that we had a little dispute with the owners of the farm. And that evening, as I lay awake thinking about what happened, there it was: the topic for my message: conflicts.
And would you believe it, two weeks later we have a mission team coming here holding seminars. And what was one of the topics? Conflict resolution! Thank you, God! I took a lot of notes during that seminar, and I want to thank Jeremy Morton and Chad for their input on this subject.
I am not going to repeat everything that was said during that session but only highlight one of the main points and most important lessons. The title of that lesson was „theological triage“ or theological assessment, that is, we learned how to assess a theological conflict. In other words: what is really worth having a conflict about? How do you set priorities when in comes to conflict?
What helps us in that regard is viewing the conflict in light of different levels of importance. We want to differentiate three levels here.
Level 1: tantamount, crucial issues of global importance. Issues that directly relate to Christian truth, e. g. the Gospel, Jesus' full deity and humanity, salvation by grace through faith
Level 2: issues directly related to fellowship in the church, e. g. differences between denominations, women as pastors, baptism of children
Level 3: issues that people in the same congregation dissagree on, e. g. how you dress, music style, what movies one should or should not watch
Now what level issues do most people fight about? Level 3! The things that are least important! How come? If you look at the content of the three levels, you will find that, going from 1 to 3, the issues get more and more concrete. Level 1 is very abstract, not about day-to-day things. Level 3 on the other hand, dives right into things you are confronted with every day.
One of my favorite Christian musicians is Rich Mullins. The first Christian CD I owned was his album „Winds of Heaven, Stuff of Earth“. In that album, Rich Mullins contrasts heavenly truths with the down-to-earth things we experience as humans. When you're on level 3, you're dealing with the „stuff of earth“. You're getting your hands dirty in very physical, material issues. That's what we do daily: take the trash out, brush our teeth, watch TV, clean up after our kids. Things like that.
So let me go back to that Friday evening on the farm. What happened? To give you a little background: my parents had booked two apartments there, one for us and one for them, so that we would have the possibility to retreat and have privacy if we wanted to. However, we always had meals together at their apartment. It was no different that Friday evening. What was also common was that the children were usually done eating before us and we would let them play in the room we were in while we continued our dinner. Of course both kids were pretty wound up, running and shouting and generally being happy little kids. It was a nice little scene until we heard a crash. Emily had held on to a little table that had a porcelain candle holder on it. The table tipped, fell over an the candle holder broke. A little nuisance, but nothing unusual. To my relief, my Dad said that he would sort this out with the farm owners. Gladly I put the issue to rest.
Later that evening my wife Heidi heard our hosts having a loud conversation in the courtyard saying something about a broken candleholder and how „I can't help it if they don't know how to behave.“ About seven alarm bells went off in my head. I was confused because my Dad had said he would address the issue and I hadn't seen him go downstairs yet. So how did they know about the broken candleholder?
I decided to go down and see what was going on. The first thing I saw in the courtyard was a table with the broken candle holder on it. Our hosting couple was in the courtyard too, so I quickly addressed the issue saying „We had an accident and a vase broke. Of course we are going to reimburse you for that. Please put it on our bill.“ Technically, not quite correct (vase vs. candle holder), but I thought I did OK. However, I wasn't prepared for what happened next. The lady gave me a nice little sermon about the shortcomings of our conduct as guests: how could we just put the broken candle holder there without saying a word? Couldn't we (four(!) adults) even take care of two little children? Why did we all use one kitchen together when each of us had their own? Why did we take some pillows of a room we didn't even book? Of course she also didn't fail to correct me on the fact that it wasn't a vase that broke but a candle holder, one that had been dear to her and in her possession for a long time.
If this isn't a 1st class level 3 conflict, I don't know what is!
How do you respond in a situation like that? Here's another lesson I took home from the seminar: there are three ways we can respond to conflict (three „R“s):
1.R – ebuke („You are wrong, I am right.“)
2.R – epent („You are right, I am wrong.“)
3.R – etire (Lay it to rest.)
Which option do you think comes natural for most people? Which option is most appropriate for what level conflict?
Let's listen to what Jesus teaches about conflict:
Mt. 5:39 (NIV) „But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.“

Along the same lines, the apostle Paul teaches:

Rom. 12:21 (NIV) „Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.“

Please notice that both Jesus and Paul use a very strong word when they talk about facing conflict. What word is that? Evil. They talk about facing evil. In the context of what I am speaking about today, there is a very strong connection between these three things: level 3 issues, conflict, and evil. The reason is that level 3 issues are buried deep down in the „stuff of earth“. Paul often refers to this as „the flesh“.

Rom. 8:7 (NASB) „The mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so“

Conflicts on level 3 are a dangerous ground to walk on. But all conflicts can become a root of evil. That is why these roots must be pulled early on. An unhandled conflict can burn like a fire, and, if not extinguished, will keep smoldering and can light up again any time. Such conflicts can and will destroy relationships. That is why Satan loves to use conflicts.

Eph. 4:26,27 (NIV) In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

During conflict, emotions are always strong. Some people show it more than others, but emotions are always strong. And that's not a bad thing in itself. The NASB actually renders verse 26 as follows: „Be angry, and yet do not sin“. A righteous anger is appropriate at times. However, it is like you are opening up a big door to your heart with those feelings. And Satan would love nothing better than to put his foot in that door as soon as you open it just a little bit. But „do not give the devil a foothold.“

James 4:7 (NIV) „Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.“

This is an act of the will. Resist. Say no. Don't give in to the urge to lash out, repay or retaliate. Again, depending on the kind of person you are, you may need to leave the room in order to do this. You may need to go on a 1-on-1 with God. Resist the devil. Be prepared to turn the other cheek.

I have covered the three R's – rebuke, repent and retire – now. My main point is, that, most of the time, the second and third R – repent and retire – are harder to do but more beneficial to the relationship at stake. The third R – retire – takes some practicing, but I find it crucial if you want to live a more or less peaceful life. Like I said, most conflicts occur on level 3. And those are mostly things not really worth fighting about. So, do yourself a favor, try to zoom out a little, gain some distance to the issue at hand and learn to say „it's not really that important. I'm not going to fret about it anymore.“ Lay it to rest.

I don't want to go into the details of what happened on that farm after our hosts had poured fire and brimstone on us after the little mishap. I can assure you, though, that despite the conflict being a level 3 issue, emotions were high, also on my side. My immediate inner response was „I am not going to stay here another day!“. Without going into details, let me mention the theme of the solution, though:
Rom. 12:21 (NIV) „Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.“

The next day, we chose to „love our enemies“. We poured out love on them. Suffice it to say that the last day of the vacation was the best and God blessed the whole situation. The devil did not get a foot in the door. God blesses us when we act according to His will. He really knows what is best for us.

-- --

What are the two most important things in life? Two things: your relationship with God and your relationship with other people. If you strive for anything in life, strive to improve those two things. I've been talking a lot about relationships between people today. But I don't want to skip the other relationship: the relationship with God. I want to point out a very significant way in which God deals with conflict, but in this case conflict on level one.

What is a conflict on level one with God? It is sin in your life. The bible tells us that the wages of sin is death. Sin creates such a dividing wall between us and God that nothing but death, eradication, wiping us out, can overcome it. How is that possible? Is God not following His own principles? What about turning the other cheek? Can't God take a few blows? Actually, God can and does take a lot of blows, for, after all, people do sin, and yet don't all fall down dead when they do! However, ultimately, sin cannot stand between God and us forever. Just like in human conflicts, there must be reconciliation in order for the relationship to continue.

However, God, being by nature holy, cannot accept unholiness in His eternal presence. Who will make us right with God? Who can take away the barrier of sin between us and God? Who can bear the consequences for all the blows we have dealt to God? Let's cry out with Paul (Rom. 7:25, NIV): „Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!“ Jesus resolved the ultimate conflict between us and God in an extraordinary way. When we were in deep conflict with God, Jesus, who had nothing whatsoever going against him with God, stepped in to take all the blows of judgement in our place. Through his sacrifice, we can have peace with God today. Because of Jesus, we are reconciled with God. This is an amazing way to solve a conflict. We are in a raging fist-fight with God dealing blow after blow, and Jesus, who had no reason to fight for us, stepped in, hands down without defense, received God's deathly swipe.

Are you in rebellion against God? Are you fighting Him? Do you need reconciliation? God offers forgiveness if we ask Him. Jesus has stepped in to make us right with God.


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April 18, 2010 Be-Attitudes: The Persecuted are Blessed
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April 11, 2010 Be-Attitudes: The Peacemakers are Blessed
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April 04, 2010 Resurrection Sunday: The First Easter
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March 28, 2010 Be-Attitudes: The Pure in Heart are Blessed
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March 14, 2010 Be-Attitudes: The Hungry and Thirsty are Blessed
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February 21, 2010 Be-Attitudes: Blessed are the Poor in Spirit
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February 14, 2010 Be-Attitudes: God is Blessed
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February 07, 2010 Don't be troubled
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January 31, 2010 Troubles - Show me the way
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January 17, 2010 The Secret of First
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January 10, 2010 The Principle of First
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December 27, 2009 Children's Service: Young Jesus
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December 20, 2009 Great Expectations - Peace
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December 13, 2009 Great Expectations - Joy
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December 06, 2009 Great Expectations - Repentance
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November 22, 2009 Restoring the Future - Start From a Spiritual Perspective, Nehemiah 1
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November 15, 2009 Restoring the Future - Ten Encouraging Words, Zechariah 8
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November 08, 2009 Restoring the Future - God's Gracious Offer, Zechariah 1:1-17
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November 01, 2009 Restoring the Future - Making a Fresh Start
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September 20, 2009 Jewish Seasons: Happy New Year (partly low audio quality)
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August 30, 2009 The Elijah Stories: God Never Leaves Us Alone
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August 23, 2009 The Elijah Stories: Only God Can Make it Rain
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August 16, 2009 The Elijah Stories: God is True to His Word
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August 09, 2009 Being used by God
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August 02, 2009 Soldiers of Christ
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June 28, 2009 The scandal of the cross
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June 21, 2009 Who Is the Holy Spirit? Is He Charismatic?
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June 14, 2009 Who Is the Holy Spirit? Is He Baptist?
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May 31, 2009 ­Who Is the Holy Spirit? Is He Pentecostal?
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May 24, 2009 Families Practicing God’s Love - ­Meeting Emotional Needs
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May 17, 2009 Families Practicing God's Love­ - Parents Nurture Your Children
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May 10, 2009 Families Practicing God’s Love­ - Wives Respect Your Husbands
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April 26, 2009 Families Practicing God's Love­: Spirit-Filled Families
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April 19, 2009 Giving Away My "First Fruits"
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March 22, 2009 Get Connected­SERVICE (International Missions)
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March 15, 2009 Get Connected­SERVICE (Volunteerism)
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March 08, 2009 Get Connected­SERVICE (Recreation)
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March 01, 2009 Get Connected­SERVICE (Evangelism)
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February 15, 2009 Who Are We? (Beliefs: Humanity and Salvation by Grace)
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February 08, 2009 Kingdom Dress Codes and Job Descriptions (partly poor sound quality)
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February 01, 2009 Who am I? I AM ... !
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January 25, 2009 Cherish the Family
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January 18, 2009 Jonah - God's Mercy
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January 04, 2009 Looking Back - Looking Forward (incomplete)
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December 21, 2008 Surprise! God Gives and Desires Love
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November 30, 2008 Becoming a Peacemaker: The Power of Forgiveness
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November 16, 2008 Becoming a Peacemaker: The Power of Confession
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November 09, 2008 Becoming a Peacemaker: The Heart of Conflict
Scott Corwin

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November 02, 2008 Membership Has Its Privileges...and Responsibilities
Scott Corwin
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October 26, 2008 The Lord's Supper: "This is my body."
Scott Corwin

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October 19, 2008 Honoring God with My Treasueres
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October 12, 2008 Honoring God with my time
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October 05, 2008 Honoring God with my talents
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September 21, 2008 Loving Enough to Give
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August 17, 2008 Partner with God Through Prayer
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August 10, 2008 Priority of God's Purpose
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August 03, 2008 Energy of the Holy Spirit
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July 20, 2008 Leaders and Followers
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July 13, 2008 Citizens of God's Kingdom
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July 06, 2008 Christian conflict resolution
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June 29, 2008 What is Christianity?
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June 22, 2008 Encouragement for the church: look to Jesus
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June 15, 2008 church on a mission
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June 01, 2008 Unsurpassed Provision
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May 18, 2008 Relationship with God
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May 04, 2008 The Significance of Jesus' Baptism
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April 27, 2008 The Relevance Of The Lord's Supper
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April 20, 2008 Christ Lord of All
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April 13, 2008 Testimonies
PowerSurge Worship Ministries

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April 06, 2008 Overcoming Barriers
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March 30, 2008 The Lord's Table Versus Man's Walls
Leonard King
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March 23, 2008 The Resurrection
Leonard King

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March 16, 2008 Hosanna! Crucify Him!
Scott Corwin

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March 09, 2008 Let the little children come
Jakob Magiera
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March 02, 2008 Going through God's open Doors
Leonard King
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February 24, 2008 Test of Church Fellowship
Leonard King

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February 17, 2008 Privileges and Responsibilities of Church Members
Leonard King
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January 27, 2008 Sermon 2008-01-27
Leonard King

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January 20, 2008 sermonaudio2008-01-20_hq
Leonard King

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January 13, 2008 sermonaudio2008-01-13_hq
Nathaniel Thomas

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January 06, 2008 Sermon 2008-01-06
Nathaniel Thomas

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December 30, 2007 sermonaudio2007-12-30_lq
Nathaniel Thomas

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December 09, 2007 What kind of tree are you?
Steve Dye

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December 02, 2007 How Big Is Your Neighborhood?
Jimmy Martin

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November 25, 2007 Psalm 126:1-6
Moises Menezes

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November 18, 2007 Revealing the God of Restoration
Norman Patterson

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November 11, 2007 He Will Say "Well Done"
Norman Patterson

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November 04, 2007 Sermon 2007-11-04
Norman Patterson

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October 28, 2007 Sermon 2007-10-28
Norman Patterson

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September 23, 2007 Sermon 2007-09-23
Nathaniel Thomas

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September 02, 2007 Sermon 2007-09-02
Richard Blake

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August 19, 2007 Sermon 2007-08-19
Richard Blake

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August 12, 2007 Sermon 2007-08-12
Richard Blake

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August 05, 2007 Sermon 2007-08-05
Richard Blake

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July 29, 2007 Sermon 2007-07-29
Richard Blake

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July 15, 2007 Sermon 2007-07-15
Richard Blake

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July 08, 2007 Receiving
Olivia Stewart
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July 01, 2007 Sermon 2007-07-01
Bob Marsh

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June 17, 2007
Bob Marsh

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June 10, 2007 Sermon 2007-06-10
Chris Dowd

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June 03, 2007 Sermon 2007-06-03
Bob Marsh

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May 27, 2007
Avi Schneider

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May 20, 2007
Mike Yoder
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May 13, 2007
Mike Yoder
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May 06, 2007 Sermon 2007-05-06
Mike Yoder
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April 29, 2007
Guenter Springer

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April 22, 2007 Sermon 2007-04-22
Mike Yoder
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April 15, 2007 Sermon 2007-04-15
Bob Marsh

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April 08, 2007 The Divine Reversal
Mike Yoder
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April 01, 2007 Sermon 2007-04-01
Mike Yoder
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March 25, 2007 sermon 2007-03-25
Tiago Pereira da Silva

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March 18, 2007 Living Vertical in a Horizontal World
Mike Yoder
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March 11, 2007 UPSIDE DOWN: Turning the World’s View on Its Head
Mike Yoder
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February 25, 2007 Eating Out With Jesus
Jakob Magiera
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February 18, 2007 Sermon 2007-02-18
Nathaniel Thomas

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February 11, 2007 Sermon 2007-02-11
Mike Yoder
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February 04, 2007
Mike Yoder
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January 28, 2007
Mike Yoder
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January 14, 2007
Mike Yoder
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January 07, 2007
Mike Yoder
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December 31, 2006 Belief
Nathaniel Thomas
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December 17, 2006 Christmas - Family Day
Mike Yoder
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December 10, 2006 The Glory of the Lord
Mike Yoder
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December 03, 2006 The LIGHT of Christ
Mike Yoder
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November 12, 2006 Investing in Others: The Core of Ministry
Mike Yoder
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October 22, 2006
Mike Yoder
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October 08, 2006 Sermon 2006-10-08
Stephen Pacht

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October 01, 2006 Worldview Evangelism: Engaging Mind and Culture
Mike Yoder
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September 24, 2006 Gospel Portraits
Mike Yoder
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September 17, 2006 Witness to the Cities
Mike Yoder
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September 10, 2006 Clarifying the Gospel and Christian Community
Mike Yoder
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September 03, 2006 On the Road with the Gospel
Mike Yoder
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August 27, 2006 Launchpad Antioch
Mike Yoder
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August 20, 2006 Up Close and Personal with God
Mike Yoder
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August 06, 2006
Nathaniel Thomas

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July 09, 2006 Sermon 2006-07-09
Steve Dye

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July 02, 2006 Widespread Vision
Mike Yoder
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June 25, 2006 Transformed Focus
Mike Yoder
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June 18, 2006 World Class Living – Part 2 (World Cup)
Mike Yoder
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June 11, 2006 Total Commitment
Mike Yoder
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June 04, 2006 The Church on Display
Mike Yoder
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May 28, 2006 Honest Integrity
Craig Rees
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May 21, 2006 Beautiful Worship
Chris Dowd
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May 14, 2006 Courage and Clarity
Mike Yoder
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May 07, 2006
Mike Yoder

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April 30, 2006 The Great Arrival
Mike Yoder
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April 23, 2006 ACTS – Power for Witness
Mike Yoder/Frank Godberg
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April 16, 2006 Ultimate Power - A Revolutionary Resurrection in My Life
Mike Yoder
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April 09, 2006 Off the Hook and Out of Prison
Mike Yoder
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April 02, 2006 Friends and Family
Mike Yoder
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March 26, 2006 The Life of Cain
Mike Yoder
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March 12, 2006 The Climax of Creation: Human Beings
Mike Yoder
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February 19, 2006 "People Need the Lord"
Jakob Magiera
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February 12, 2006 You Were Shaped For Serving God
Mike Yoder
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