A Modern Psalm of Lament (by Anonymous)

 LORD, You have chosen me since before the beginning of time.
 You have watched me stumble and cause others to stumble.
 You were patient when I acted as to arouse your anger.
 So much contempt for you through my depravity I showed.
 Yet, You, my Sovereign God, are faithful and kind.
 Even though, since before the foundation of the earth, you knew my sins,
 You chose to adopt me as a son, to inherit your Kingdom. 
 Heavenly Father, I know you love me so,
 but my heart is always so full of doubt and uncertainty.
 Why, LORD, do I still fail to obey your just Commandments?
 Haven't you written your Law into the hearts of all men?
 Or did you not, in your endless compassion, allow me to gaze at the perfection of your Glory?
 Yet, I still disobey and despair. 
 My Creator, my Rock, my Redeemer, why do I still have to crawl through the mud?
 As you have sent your only Son, a perfect blameless sacrifice,
 I was ransomed from my grievous sins, bought with the price of the cross.
 Yet, I still must confess: my heart loves myself more than it loves You, my God.
 Forgive me, Father, but I must ask:
 Why do I still have to be such a stiff-necked beast?
 Can't your unfathomable power rectify this wicked heart of mine, once and for all? 
 Yesterday, I suffered, for I had no hope.
 I looked into the abyss and walked towards it,
 for I knew that's where I belonged.
 Still, somehow I hoped and longed for something better
 Though I should indeed be laid forgotten in a shallow grave,
 this relentless voice persuaded me to hope for Love, Justice and Truth,
 thus I wondered and prayed that they would reveal themselves to me. 
 You, The God of Abraham and Israel, looked at me with favor,
 You chose me, spoke to me and washed my iniquity away.
 You clothed me with fine clothing and even sent your Spirit of Wisdom,
 but now my suffering is greater than ever before.
 Through your Grace my soul is healed,
 yet my accursed flesh still yearns for sin,
 it longs for rebelliousness, forgetfulness and ungratefulness. 
 I've been granted too much already, I feel ashamed to ask for more.
 Even so, I beg you LORD: have mercy on me yet again! Bless me!
 Burn away the unyielding corruption of my heart,
 through the radiance of your Eternal Glory!
 Excise my wretchedness and pain through your Might!
 Let my soul rest on the blessed promise of resurrection,
 so that all may hear me sing in joy and bless Your Holy Name!
 In the name of Jesus Christ,
 Amen 

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